Asexualism

I am not part of the LGBT crowd or someone confused about their sexuality, I am straight out Asexual and have been for the last 10 years. My last relationship was with the person I thought was my match but it ended and since then I haven’t dated at all (I’m a male btw). Since it was in my teens at a stage when I was still developing it cut off basically any further developments in terms of sexual desire. Well I think it’s that reason at least.

So after going to an all boys school for my HS (I’m Australian so that’s yr7-12) I thought that maybe I just didn’t feel anything because I was around girls much so I mingled and associated and while I may have felt romantic feelings I never felt sexual desires. That’s the thing most people get confused about, asexual doesn’t mean that I don’t have emotions as I do, but I just don’t feel any attraction to “the act”. People don’t get Asexuality mostly, explaining to people why I wasn’t seduced by them or staring like a typical male just got me looks like I was trying to hide being gay. Now I have no problem with the LGBT community at all and I completely agree with mostly everything they stand for so it wasn’t an insult to me in that they called me those things but rather an insult because they didn’t understand and accept me for not having any sexual orientation.

A lot of people tried the lines like “Oh you just haven’t met the right person yet” or “You’ll start getting the feelings once you find the right person” but you’ve got to understand that the feelings purely and simply aren’t there for me. The best way to describe it is that the hormones that make you like sex just don’t activate.

The reason I am making this thread is just to explain to people the basics of what it’s like to be asexual and allow for others in my situation to relate to something, maybe to even help those who wonder why they feel no sexual attraction.

Now don’t get me wrong Asexual-ism is pretty cool as well: I don’t get swayed over by looks and I judge people by their character not their appearance, I don’t really bother with my appearance unless I am going out with friends and don’t want to look like a crazy homeless guy next to them and I am able to look at all sexualities and judge from an unbiased standpoint; however I can’t tell you how hard it is to give relationship advice, especially when being a listener on this site and getting asked so many questions about relationships.

User Comments
Anon-1 Hello, this is going to seem like a plug, but it's not. You might want to set up a group on Meetup.com. I'm part of the Bi and Poly groups on it and it's great to see how they seem to work well as a way for people to explore their thoughts and learn more about alternative sexualities and/or relationships. Bisexuals have the same problem that Asexuals face in that there's a lot of the "you haven't met the right person", "it's a phase" etc from all sides, but I suppose you guys have it a bit harder as you're almost never represented anywhere. As a first off it might be an idea to come to one of the monthly bi and/or poly meets as it does have lots of friendly people of all types of non-heteronormative sexualities. Good mix of ages, races, sexes and genders too.