My son has bi polar

My son is 21 years old.He was diagnosed with bi polar  3 years ago. I don't know if he takes his medication every day. I don't know if he sees  his counsellor . He will not tell me or my husband anything. He self harms. His arms are covered in slash marks.He seems to be worse when he over does the drink. How can we help him. He is a lovely kind hearted boy. who will do anything to help others, but won't help himself.He cries so much in his room. Its heart breaking.

 

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