I don't know what to do

I feel as if my life has just hit a wall. I'm only 14 and I know i have so much to live for, I have a good family (mostly), I have great friends, my life isn't bad, but I don't feel like living. I feel like everyone has it better then me, easier then me. I've had problems in the past, but nothing major, I just feel like life isn't worth it. I'm scared for the future I feel like I won't succeed in life and that my parents will be disappointed. I'm failing school and I don't know how to fix my grades, I feel like such a failure but I don't want be, I just don't know what to do. I'm too scared to try to be better then I am for fear that I will fail and people and laugh, but since I don't try I do fail and I just don't know how to get my self out of this hole. I'm too shy and scared to talk to anybody, scared my friends will laugh and leave me, scared my parents will brush me off. I don't know how to live anymore. I'm so shy and self-conscious and its killing me inside. I'm so scared people are judging me, waiting for me to fail so they can laugh at me. I get so embarrassed about everything and I can't just be myself. I want to kill myself but I'm too scared of disappointed others for doing it. Please help me.

User Comments
Anon-1

You need to seek professional help.  Call the samaritans or an organisation similar, they will be able to help you.  www.samaritans.org Its anonymous so you needn't stress about it but honestly speak to someone.  Your parents won't brush you off, they love you so speak to them about how you feel, if they don't know they can't help you or understand.  Stay strong.