I need to be happy with my own life.

I have been with my SO for two years and a couple of months. Since I was young, every time I'm in a relationship I tend to get all clingy and dependent. My current SO is the most wonderful person I've ever met and I really want to be with him for a great deal longer. He is independent. If there was a dependent spectrum, we are both on the other end. The first year me being dependent was not a problem, since I had a really busy life myself and was not that dependent. Then my SO went on exchange for half a year and I became even more independent - I had to, he was not there even if I would have wanted him to be there. The first couple of months he was back were fine as well.
We have always had the same group of friends. We've studied the same thing, and were active in the same group outside our study. This group is part of the problem: I've graduated two months ago and found a job. Since then, I haven't been to the place we met up with our group that often. My SO on the other hand is there every day. I feel like I don't really belong in the group anymore since I'm working now, and going on with my life.
I wanted to find my own friends, so I signed up at another place. However, they are not as active as my old group. So while my SO is hanging out with our old friends, I only have a couple of new friends that I sporadically see.
My new job sucks. I don't have any work to do, and they don't really have any more work for me. I like to be challenged, and I'm just not getting that from this job. The problem is I'll start another study in September, so it's hard to find another job for just a couple of months that will challenge me. This job now is a "grown-up" job, with a nice salary and everything. I don't want to go work in a bar or something, since my current job will look really good on my CV and I hope it will get better if I get any work.
The big problem for me is that I get jealous whenever my boyfriend is doing something with other people. A part of it is that he is doing something without me. He really loves me, but he doesn't need to be with me all the time. He also wants to do things with other people. I think this is only healthy, and I'd really like to be happy enough with my own life so I could be like that as well. I don't want to feel left out, or not having a big enough life on my own that I need his life to feel happy.
I want to be happy with my own life. I want to be happy for him when he is doing stuff with other friends, without feeling like he doesn't like me enough to be there. It's only normal we're not doing everything together, we're only in our twenties!
I just don't know where to start to fix my life. I've been exercising regularly for two weeks (and I'll keep this up). I have been making new friends. I have a job. I have some hobbies I enjoy. I just want to be content with my life, and make myself happy instead of relying on my SO for my happiness. I'm going to see a psychologist next week, to see if talking to someone would help.

User Comments

Going to see a psychologist is totally the best thing to do here - I really hope they can help you resolve your insecurity and help you start living your life the way you want to. You are doing all the right things so focus on those positive things and keep going forward :)

Anon-2 It sounds like you've been making the right steps here and that you've identified the problem. You'll get there. I'm similar in ways. I don't have many friends at the moment due to being in between friend groups and life situations- but that sort of thing just takes time. I'm hoping I'll find friends soon. Sounds like you will too and that will be helpful. Someone once told me that you should never expect to get everything from one person as we so often expect to in a relationship. That's just too much pressure for one person, and for one relationship. Since then I surround myself with different people for different things, and I'm much more happy :) Good luck.