OK.  Something in me has got to change. I can not become a victim. I can not allow my manipulative unemotional husband to destroy me. I can't allow him to make me forget who I am.its hard because I feel like he has slowly destroyed me. Slowly forced me to alter my very make up.it would almost be impossible to explain how to another,but I can just about hold on to the gradual path it has taken. Sometimes I feel crazy,wonder if I have caused this situation as it seems so bizarre to be here. I was meant to be happy. I thought the type of person I am I would only end up with a loving soul mate for a partner...yet here I am.

I can not afford to continue to feel sorry for myself.  I don't want how my husband treats me to dictate how I feel. The hardest part is watching him be pleasant to others and realising that he does have the capacity to do it.  

In many ways I've thought I was happy just looking after my kids. More recently I feel I am afraid to leave them. I don't want him to influence them. I have watched him and his attitude towards the mother of his other 2 children. It's been poor. He lay all responsibility at her door for the end of their relationship and the disturbance that it caused his kids.i now realise he played a big part in that too.

How can I stay strong ? How can I empower myself ? There must be a way. 

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