Death Sounds Better Than Being Alive

I've heard suicide as being described as a "Perminent solution to a temporyry problem." Normally, i'd agree. But not in my case. In my case life is a problem. Waking up in the morning never wanting to get out of bed is a problem. Never feeling motivated to do anything is a problem. Not being able to relate to my friends and family is a problem. Not being able to express myself without being met by violent hatred is a problem. My fucked up brain fantisizing about world-domination and genocide is a problem. Living in constant fear of what tomorrow will bring is a problem. Being a part of this fucked up planet is a problem. Existence is a problem. Death can aliviate all of those woes, at least for me. And that's fine by me. Existance sucks. Tbh it would be much better if we all just killed ourselves than continue living. 

The person right now is someone i fucking hate. A spineless loser who doesn't care about anyone or anything but themself. A person that sees everything in black and white and believes in believes in death as the ultimate rest. I know deep down that this person is just doing it for attention. The exact thing that I never would have wanted to become. A whiny bitch who claims to have mental illness for attention. Fucking disgusting. This person is also a coward who doesnt actually care about his friends. Heh, probably why he doesn't have many. He wants death of the world death of the world death of the world kill the world god ddamn it whay tis this so diffu=icult i can't fucking live like this i just hope i die in some freak accident i'd rather some drunk rednekc burst into my house and shoot me in the goddamn head and torch my fucking body than continue living jesus christ.

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Seriously, I would suggest getting some professional help. If you haven't looked into it, then I would urge you to see if there is someone in your area who is able to help you.


Op here. I'm trying, but High School councelors can only do so much. I've already been recommended I see a professional before, but my mom refuses to let me. Not because of the cost, but because she doesn't want someone else "fucking with my life" or some entitiled nonsense like that. Thanks for the suggestion tho. You were just trying to help.

Anon-3 , I'm ill Versions: #1#2 I don't dream anymore I don't smoke anymore I don't even have a story anymore I'm ugly without you I'm dirty without you Like an orphan in a dormitory I don't want To live my life anymore My life stops when you leave I don't have a life anymore And even my bed Becomes a station platform When you leave... I'm ill Completely ill Like when my mother went out one evening And she left me alone with my despair I'm ill Perfectly ill You arrive but you never know when You start again but you never know where And you'll have soon been doing that for 2 years Yet you don't care Like a rock Like a sin I'm attracted to you I'm tired, I'm exhausted Of pretending to be happy When they're there I drink every night And every whisky Has the same taste to me And every boat Wears your flag I don't know where to go anymore, you're everywhere I'm ill Completely ill I shed my blood in your body And I'm like a dead bird When you sleep I'm ill Perfectly ill You deprived me of all my songs You emptied me of all my words Yet I did have talent Before your skin... This love's killing me If it continues I'll die on my own Next to my radio Like a stupid child I'll listen to your own, own voice that sings to me I'm ill Completely ill Like when my mother went out one evening And she left me alone with my despair I'm ill This is it, I'm ill You deprived me of all my song You emptied me of all my words And I have a heart that's completely ill Surrounded by fences You hear... I'm ill... , An Angel Of God As You Are , The Lord's Prayer Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.