It's a vicious cycle. I want to do better with myself. I want to be the change. But when I inevitably fail, I hate myself and because I hate myself I feel I don't deserve to make a change causing myself to go even further as I watch everything I could be doing slip by. 


I guess I'll stick with razors and bandages till that lucky day it's time to join death in the eternal night. 

User Comments

Do you see a professional about this? Its tough to do but it can really help.  I would suggest looking for a therapist or going to see your GP urgently as it is your mind/depression making you feel this way and it can be treated.