You can write about anything that is important to you – your whole life, personal trauma or events that have affected you in the past.Share Your Story
I used to love smoking weed and it was a really positive thing for me. I started when I was a junior in high school and did it a lot (now going into my senior year in college). I've had some bad experiences with it but it was almost exclusively helpful for me in life. It helped me to control my OCD, be social, and do better in school. This last semester I had been feeling very anxious and getting high would help me calm down. I stopped for a little over a month around finals and smoked with a girl at the beginning of summer. Everything was fine, but my tolerance had been a little low so I was pretty stoned. I tried again a week later and I had a huge anxiety attack, thankfully I had some Xanax on hand. After that, I started feeling very weird all the time for about a week. My heartbeat felt off and my focus was weird. If I was feeling extra bad my vision would only “freeze” when I stopped moving my head. Everything would be blurry unless I looked straight at something and kept looking at it. I didn’t know what was going on so I changed my diet, no more caffeine and more balanced meals. This has helped a bit but not very much. I got a blood test at the doctor’s and they said everything was fine.
This week was extra bad. I grew up in an Italian family so we drank growing up. I also am German and Irish so I have always just naturally had a really high tolerance. I am in a fraternity and I could drink anyone under the table, even when I was a younger member. Anyways, I went to a brewery that I always like with some friends and drank about half of a beer. I then went into a bathroom and looked in the mirror, my eyes were as dilated as I had ever seen them and I hadn’t smoked in about a week. I decided to leave and had a really bad anxiety attack while I was driving. It was so bad that I started to hallucinate, but only in one eye. My left eye was fine but I was seeing all of these colors in my left eye. It was really bad, so bad I couldn’t see reality out of that eye. I’m going to see a different doctor on Monday and hopefully they can figure something out. It’s a pain being afraid of anxiety all of the time and I’m going to my fraternity’s national convention in a few months so I’d really like to be able to drink there.
It must be terrible, suffering from a panic disorder from something that's supposed to be so calming and relaxing.
Do indica and sativa both affect you this way?
I wish you the best of luck with your upcoming doctor's visit. I think it's good that you're taking that step, and hopefully this will all be cleared up soon!
Any updates? I, for one, would like to know how you're doing. I hope you're feeling better!
Same here! How went your doctor's visit? Have you been able to find a solution to the anxiety you suffered after using marijuana? Did using different strains help?
Hopefully, with changing attitudes about medical marijuana, it will become easier for you to find something that helps you more -- I don't know a lot about pot, but I'm glad to hear that it's helpful for you in certain areas.
Try sativa? I've always felt jumpy after smoking indica.
Different methods of using marijuana might help you more, or less, than others. If you can, try experimenting somewhat, not only with different blends but also with different methods of introducing it to your body. Hopefully, you'll find something that works. You might get in touch with someone in an area where it's legal, and ask for advice.
I am just so worried that I will never escape a cycle of abuse. Self-abuse, abuse in family, abuse in relationships, you name it. I am incredibly scared for the future because being treated poorly is my normal. I haven't lived at home for 4 years, but I worry that I am deluding myself in my relationships now and am truly accustomed to abuse. I love my boyfriend so much, but I feel as though h...
To my boyfriend whom I live dearly...I wish you knew when I sad, I wish you were here to hold me when I feel so sad. I want to spend time with you and make memories with you and I can't do that when your three hours away. I want you by my side constantly. I just wish you knew how I felt I'm just too scared to overwhelm you and scare you off. I'm sorry I'm.not perfect or probabl...