Started Writing Some Random Thoughts...

I know what has to be done. I know what I have to do. In spite the pain my close and dear will suffer, I’m not strong enough to endure. I’m weak and I know it. I can’t even say hello to girl without trembling. And although I sometimes manage to put on an act, it doesn’t last for long. Drunk I am who I wanna be. High I feel how I wanna feel. And sober I just want to jump.

But why? What evolutionary purpose have created a miserably specimen like me? What impact would me jumping have of a on the world? Sure people close to me would be sad. But after the mourning has past, their lives would be easier. Without worrying or taking care of me.

Apart from jumping. What roads can I take? Pretend to be happy? By some miracle find a girl and make her miserable as well?

But I’m I so special? Can it be that the whole of society feel like me to some degree, but are just better actors, or are better at creating lies so they can go on? Is that the reason for the disease of religion?

I have heard many times that the world can live in harmony, from John Lennon to the Dalai Lama. Fuck that! As I have interpreted the human race, we are just egoistic haters that only care about ourselves and the people close to us. Hate drives us all. If you’re a racist you hate a certain people. If you’re not, well, then you hate racists. Lets take an example: pedophiles, hated by everyone. Don’t they deserve pity? They are born with a sexual orientation they can’t help or fight. I must suppose they live with constant shame and sexual frustration. But we won’t give them any sympathy or help. Only hate and ostracism.

This text didn’t turn in to what I had planned but whatever.

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