Never give up

I was a normal 18 year old, friends, a great family & loving life. But in October 2009 I lost someone close to me due to a tragic car accident. I was so young & didn't know how to cope with such strong emotions. But as time went on I soon realised that I would have to learn how to cope as it happened again to another person close to my heart 9 months later. But this wasn't the end. It continued and I lost one person after the other, all very close to me but it got to a point where I had grieved so much I was sick of it, so I chose not too anymore and this is where my life started to loose control. I turned to alcohol as my coping mechanism. I wasn't able to hold down jobs, relationships & never had any money. But I refused to accept any help or advice. I was getting myself into dangerous situations and even an abusive relationship at one point. I would get so drunk every weekend to the point I didn't know my name. But I didn't want to admit defeat. I got good at pretending I was okay even though I knew I wasn't. I was going from one bad experience to the next. I had no friends left as I pushed them all away! After 5 years of constant heartbreak & trauma, I settled into a relationship in October 2014 but it ended in Jan 2015 and I was left heartbroken. But this is where my life changed for the better. My heart was torn and it was the final straw for me. I had lost it and I had completely broke down, I just couldn't take anymore. I was drinking more than ever before, attempting suicide and self harming. I was going too extreme efforts to take away any pain I felt. But it soon got too much and I finally asked for help. I started seeing a therapist and different physiatrists and went into a physciatric hospital for a month. I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, severe anxiety and clinical depression. I was put on lots of different medication and had intense cognitive behavioural therapy. I started attending AA meetings and stopped drinking. I was feeling better but it was hard and I had really bad days but I also had good days. If I hadn't taken help when I did, God only knows where I would be today. In Jan 2015 I saw no light at the end of the tunnel, I was so scared to get help but I did and now in Jan 2016 I can say I am so glad I did cause I am still here. I still have bad days but I have come so far and I may have a long way to go yet but I am confident I can do it. I have a great family and great friends and I just take life one day at a time. Don't be ashamed to ask for help, we are only human and their is no reason to suffer in silence. In a year from now you will be happy you asked for support. NEVER GIVE UP XXX 
User Comments
Anon-1

Thank you for sharing this, I'm so glad you are feeling better. Your advice is awesome for others x