Never give up

I was a normal 18 year old, friends, a great family & loving life. But in October 2009 I lost someone close to me due to a tragic car accident. I was so young & didn't know how to cope with such strong emotions. But as time went on I soon realised that I would have to learn how to cope as it happened again to another person close to my heart 9 months later. But this wasn't the end. It continued and I lost one person after the other, all very close to me but it got to a point where I had grieved so much I was sick of it, so I chose not too anymore and this is where my life started to loose control. I turned to alcohol as my coping mechanism. I wasn't able to hold down jobs, relationships & never had any money. But I refused to accept any help or advice. I was getting myself into dangerous situations and even an abusive relationship at one point. I would get so drunk every weekend to the point I didn't know my name. But I didn't want to admit defeat. I got good at pretending I was okay even though I knew I wasn't. I was going from one bad experience to the next. I had no friends left as I pushed them all away! After 5 years of constant heartbreak & trauma, I settled into a relationship in October 2014 but it ended in Jan 2015 and I was left heartbroken. But this is where my life changed for the better. My heart was torn and it was the final straw for me. I had lost it and I had completely broke down, I just couldn't take anymore. I was drinking more than ever before, attempting suicide and self harming. I was going too extreme efforts to take away any pain I felt. But it soon got too much and I finally asked for help. I started seeing a therapist and different physiatrists and went into a physciatric hospital for a month. I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, severe anxiety and clinical depression. I was put on lots of different medication and had intense cognitive behavioural therapy. I started attending AA meetings and stopped drinking. I was feeling better but it was hard and I had really bad days but I also had good days. If I hadn't taken help when I did, God only knows where I would be today. In Jan 2015 I saw no light at the end of the tunnel, I was so scared to get help but I did and now in Jan 2016 I can say I am so glad I did cause I am still here. I still have bad days but I have come so far and I may have a long way to go yet but I am confident I can do it. I have a great family and great friends and I just take life one day at a time. Don't be ashamed to ask for help, we are only human and their is no reason to suffer in silence. In a year from now you will be happy you asked for support. NEVER GIVE UP XXX 
User Comments

Thank you for sharing this, I'm so glad you are feeling better. Your advice is awesome for others x