I’ve had a crush on you the moment I met you, but I promised myself I wouldn’t get too attached. I’ve been hurt in the past and it’s not something I want to experience again. I’ve been pretty good with moving on from girl to girl without experiencing any emotional pain because I constantly have a shield up where I don’t let myself get attached at all. You’ve had a long term boyfriend who I’ve met through you. He’s a really down-to-earth guy but I wouldn’t really consider him a friend;, just an acquaintance. I’ve always caught myself thinking to myself, “Damn. This guy is one lucky guy.”

The way we met is complicated and we’re not exactly supposed to be friends. Being friends is already pushing it but if I were to ask you out, it would really make people (including family) who are REALLY important to me very upset. You were sick of your boyfriends shit so you’ve recently ended things with him and there’s no sign of the two of you getting back together.

After the breakup, I’ve noticed that the 2 of us have been hanging out 1000 times more often than usual. While this was happening, I’ve also been talking to two different girls on the side but I’ve lost interest in them pretty dam quickly. I ended it with them because I couldn’t see it developing into anything more.

I really don’t know how to explain it… But i’ll try anyways. No words can describe the way you make me feel whenever we hang out. Whether it’s making dinner together, hugging one another tightly or when you put your head on my shoulder when while we watch a TV Show/Movie. Whenever I feel your head on my shoulder, I slowly feel myself getting more and more emotionally attached. Everything about you that makes you really special. You’re intelligent. You’re reasonable. You’re caring. You’re kind and most notably, you’re beautiful, inside and out.

We’re always just around the corner which is a blessing because hanging out isn’t hard at all. We’ve been around each other pretty often and I can tell that we’re both going out of our ways to meet up. We plan ahead and we message each other with heart emojis. All these little things add up and your messages with hearts always brighten up my day; even if they could all be friendly… I’m not 100% sure if you would like me back if I told you I’d like you. But what I do know is that I have no fucking clue on what to do. Now is a bad timing. If I tell you how I feel, I might come off as if I was waiting for you and your ex to break up. If I tell you how I feel, you may not feel the same way and our friendship may never be the same and will therefore be awkward. However, if I don’t tell you, it’s just going to continue eating away at me away. There’s always the “You never know if you try” aspect, but I’m scared of trying. I value our friendship so damn much that I’m not sure if I want to put that at stake. I really don’t know what to do and this entire situation is overwhelming. I’ve been asking for advice from friends that are girls and they all basically said, “It’s up to you. This ones a tricky one.” I’ve been brushing off on making a decision but I know I have to have a game plan in order to release myself from this stress. I just don’t know what to do and I feel as if I’m almost just sitting here and “waiting" for someone to give me a definitive answer on what to do. Sorry for the bad grammar/sentence structure… Typed this on my phone at midnight because I can’t sleep.

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