I Want To Be A Good Role Model

I have suffered with depression all of my life, it stems back to childhood - as I am starting to realise many people's struggles with depression do.  Each day is a constant battle for me to live as I want to and not give in to the depression that can overwhelm me so badly.  I am scared to slip back in to a dark place in my head and vowed never to do it again, I lapse sometimes but I have learnt to love myself as a person and think that I am worthwhile.  There have been several moments where things have got so bad that I have vowed never to allow myself to feel that way again.

My main motivation for this is my family, especially my two children.  As childhood experiences affected me so deeply, I will not allow the same thing to influence their wellbeing in later life.  No matter how hard it is I will only provide them with love and a caring environment in the hope that I can break the cycle that has affected me and previous generations of my family.  Above all I want to be a good rolemodel, allow these children to grow and explore creative talents or anything that they are passionate about with nothing but encouragement and love.

Every day this is a struggle for me but I made a promise to myself and that promise is worth keeping.  No matter how hard it gets I keep going and hope that my children will be the free spirits that I believe they can be where nothing is unachievable for them.

To anyone reading this who struggles with depression, I hope you are able to find the strength to keep going - I know how hard it can be.  I could only change when I changed my attitude about myself and started to realise I was worth fighting for. You can do it, I have been hopeless and in despair more times than I can remember, but I have managed to come out the other side into a positve place and I hope that you can too.

Thank you for reading.


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