Toxic people in my life

At the age of 24 you'd think you'd get rid of most of the shit people in your life, or at least pick which ones are the most shitty.

My longest standing friend is turning to be one of those people. She's LOVELY, BEAUTIFUL, TALENTED but for some damn reason she feels the need to put on a facade. Who for? I don't know. People love her, I think she's wonderful. She doesn't need to pretend to be someone she isn't (I think she has her own issues to deal with)

We've been friends since birth. Parents are best friends, etc. We are VERY different people. We grew up as different children but our friendship grew on mutual space and mutual social settings. We had a very seasonal friendship. Like early teens we got along but then didn't beacuse we had different friends/growing/hated each other/teenage things. That's a given. We also lived together for a goof 2-3 years. That was a test of friendship. The amount of times she had back stabbed me/lied to me is unbelivable but they're not things worth hating for, at least for most of it. 

She loves attention. She has openly admitted that. She is also a people pleaser and will do almost anything to make you happy within reason. 

In the past few years she moved to another state to work for a year, we thought that it would suck. We'd miss each other but knew a year by will go by before we knew it. She was settling it, well she was homesick but i'm positive her was welcomed warmly because she's just easy to get along with. She has one of those personalities people are drawn to. GO HER. She called me almost everyday after work on her commute home after work just to say she missed home/me/a lot of things. I tried to tell her to hang in there. During this time I was mentoring an 18 year old girl who became a close friend. My friend felt threatened and jealous. Although to this day has never said any of this to my face, only to others. She would proceed to tell other people that she feels that she *loves* me more than I *love* her. And how she deals with that is... she just stops talking to you. Pretends you're dead basically but complains about it to every living soul except the person she has a problem with. Mature? I've called her up on it plenty of times and laying it out straight. Saying, I know you're avoiding me, but for what reason? And it ALWAYS resolves with a "i'm sorry, best friends?" and tears and hugs, the end. 


I think lately with my recent break up she's really proved to be one of those shit friends. Not that she was the one to solve my problems but as a friend who claims that they are there for me she totally disregarded my sadness and it turned into a "well my life sucks worse because xyz" and of course I put my problems aside to look after her wellbeing... But nothing.

My psychologist thinks she has problems. And wants me to stay away from her for the time being because she is so toxic and unhelpful.



User Comments

Sounds like she isn't a very healthy person to be around. I'd tend to agree with your psychologist. It is important to look after your own well being and if she is impacting on that then I'd just cut contact.