Feeling lost before college

Pretty Lost


I'm 17 and I'm living between two houses because my parents got divorced for a second time (they remarried once when I was a 11). I'm really disliking highschool because I find I'm only comfortable around negative people. My best friends are people that I play computer games with. My best friend is smart but he makes bad grades because he doesn't try hard enough. I used to have this attitude when I was in middle school but I've tried to moved away from it now. However, I feel this laziness creep into my life more and more, especially around these friends. I waste time on the computer. I drive them around. I waste money on taco-bell. (They pay for their share, but I wouldn't be buying it if I wasn't hanging out with them).



Over the summer they introduced me to magic and I spent over $600 on the game. This sounds awful, and it is, but the thing is that I don't have anything else to spend the money on. My parents didn't even notice. Somehow, this makes me feel bad.



I'm getting nearly full scholarships to go to a university in 2016, but I feel like I'm just going to waste it playing video games. Now, one of my other friends wants me to take a job working at smashburger working with him. I heard that he "wants me to be successful" so he wants me to work there. This makes me feel incredibly bad. That one of my long time friends thinks I "need to be successful" by getting a part time job at fast food when I'm getting nearly a full-ride to a university? What does he think I'm missing? Work ethic? I can see that. Can he sense what I am feeling? I doubt it because I barely talk to him.




I should also mention that I am moody because I do not get enough sleep 70% of the time. I'm working on that.

Tl;dr: I'm lost as fuck

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