Tug and pull of life

Why is it I'm so afraid of losing my job but I absolutely hate it here?

I feel so overwhelmed with life but I feel so guilty for being well off.

I try so hard to be the best friend I can be but I'm still ignored by the two only friends I have.

All I want is to stand in the sunshine but I instead choose to sit in the rain. 

I take so much pride in never going out and having any fun, never drinking, never trying anything.. But I just want to have fun without caring.

I just want to live but I let everything pass me by. I can't even willingly chase my dreams anymore.

 

Please tell me it gets better. That there is balance.

User Comments
Anon-1

Fear is a powerful thing, is it purely fear of these things that is holding you back?  If so fear of doing nothing should outweigh the fear of doing the things that you want to. This is a good book on the subject http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0091907071 - it might help you :)