Weight of the world is drowning my will

i have never really posted anything like this before so I will try my best to articulate the numbness that I feel on a daily basis. 

Alittle back story, I have lived a very cookie cutter life with traditional parents who have given me everything a daughter could ask for in physical properties but the mental support was never really there. It always mattered what others thought and how they preceived me and my lifestyle. Always abiding to my parents rules being the perfect daughter who never go into any trouble. 


As as I grew older, filling into myself I began to feel a void in my life. Not so much to do with stress or anxiety or that anything was missing in my life but more to do with the darkness that surrounds us as human beings. Although I myself am surrounded by love it kills me to see others in pain it's like I absorb there energy and it creates this dark cloud over my head, all I do it cry and try to escape. No matter how hard I try I feel as though no one understands this feeling I feel, this dark pain in my body that eats me alive every night. When i see how humans treat one another, this rat race of life, of wanting to always get ahead...what's the point I don't want to be apart of this culture this lifestyle yet I'm forced to live within it because of my love for my family and I guess even though apart if me is dying apart of me still wants to live. 

Im not quite sure if any of this makes sense but i hope someone can help shed some light on this because I'm beginning to completely lose my will to live. I just can't bare this pain anymore. 



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