Ruining my life again!

I am ruining my life again through my depression. So last year I had to quit my PhD in Physics as my depression got the better of me and I just stopped turning up. I spent a year trying to get my shit back together when in actual fact I was just hiding from it all (again) and now I have the perfect job in exactly the right field and I am doing it all over again. I have not been to work in a week now and I don't know what I am doing with my life.

I know that my job is not causing the depression it is my lack of literally any social life. I never go out. I have not one close friend. I have never been in a relashionship (24M). The loneliness just makes the depression worse, I am empty. Frankly whats keeping me alive right now is the anticipation of a new manga chapter each week. Even then I have no one to talk to. I am so worried that I wont make it out of this as I want to have a good life but I just don't see how.

I normally don't like thinking about all this stuff as it just makes me more depressed but writing about this is kind of relaxing.

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