living with critics aka (family)

As a child I started to notice a few things that I would always think they were right but were wrong. My mother and father would always start arguing and it ended up with violence. I would always take my youngest sister to a safe place for comfort. As my mother would kick my father out from the house, she would always call the police. Of course my dad would leave the house. Everytime she would be done callling the authorities my mother would come to my siblings and I and would say "OK YOUR DAD IS NO LONGER WELCOME HERE, HE HATES YOU GUYS, SO I WANT YOU TO TELL THE COPS THAT HE DID THIS AND TRIED TO RAPE ME IN FRONT OF YOU GUYS. IF YOU DON'T YOU KNOW WHATS GONNA HAPPEN. IMMA SEND YOI TO MEXICO SO THEY CAN BEAT THE LIVING SMACK OUT OF YOU OR IMMA DO IT MYSELF WAY BUT WAY WORSE." Since we were all scared and out mother was good at brain washing us we would do what she commanded. As I started getting older I was noticing more and the fighs were still there. Im the oldest of 4 and I was so young that it felt that I was the mother of them. Always protecting them from the bad person "my dad". From elementary to high school I didnt feel comfortable leaving the house, so I never wanted to go to school. I always thought it was because of my dad hitting my mother. For some reason my heart was telling me the bad person was my mother. I never felt comfortable around my mother either I would always want to be next to my dad, I felt protected and safe. As I always asked myself if your the bad guy dad, why dont I feel safe around my mom. My father just looked at me and said "MIJA IM NOT GONNA TELL YOU TO HATE YOUR MOM OR LOVE HER. THATS YOUR DECISION FOLLOW YOUR HEARTS ADVICE MORE THAN YOUR BRAIN, BECAUSE YOUR BRAIN IS WEAK MINDED AND IT CAN BELIEVE ANYTHING. WHEN YOU GET OLDER I WANT YOU TO PROMISE ME THAT YOU WONT LET ANYONE PUT HANDS ON YOU. THATS WHY YOU GOT A MOUTH AND HANDS PROTECT YOURSELF. YOULL FIGURE IT OUT ONCE YOUR MATURE AND OLDER. When he said that I was confused and told him he was crazy. My mother did hated me and my other sister a lot. When our dad wasnt around she would use her words and calls us fat and that she should of aborted us. Also blaming us two,that the reason my dad would hit her was because we would cry as a baby for no reason. That wasnt our fault we were babies, babies do cry. As I start talking back and calling my mother out on her flaws she started beating me the same way i felt when I was younger. When i was younger tho I didn't re call who was the one doing it, for the reason that my mom would tell me that my dad di it. I started getting flashbacks about the past and I would notice that my mom would do something wrong. My father would notice my mothers changes or wrong doings, an would lie telling my father that I was the one who did it. So thats when I realize that she was the bad person. I would get discipline but she would make it like a big scene like if he beat me to death. My dad never beat me bad unless my mom went and told him some bullshit lie. Until todays date she does the same thing lies and lies. My mom calls the police a lot and tells them lies too. When she is the problem started, the one who gets caught then points the finger. At the age of 18 I moved out had my own place , car and job. When i did have all that, my mom would always try to put me down and say "YOU WOULD NEVER BE BETTER THAN ME. YOUR JUST A PIECE OF CRAP LIKE YOUR FATHER AND HIS FAMILY." I started ignoring everything that came out of her mouth, she hated that so much. At work she started calling my boss at work leaving threatening voice mails. I got fired because of that and I comfronted her. She denied the whole thing saying it wasnt her. With my car same thing she has the same name as I do so she called the dealership pretending it was me saying to come pick up the car because i didnt want it anymore. My car was gone i search for it and thats when the dealer told me what happeN. I was very upset that my mother would do that to me. She is that jealous that when she sees someone trying to be better than her she goes and takes it away. Now im jobless and no car because of her, also back at her house. She demands me to take care of my siblings because im the oldest. I leave all the time but always go back because she beats my siblings very bad. I rather have her beat me than them, im their protector. She steals the income that I only get, plus messed up that cashes it also because of the same name. Then blames other people in the house. My sister 18 and myself 22 have boyfriends.Our mother tells them lies in order for them to break up with us or so we argue. Tries to put everyone against each other. My mother beats us very bad cps has been involved but my younger siblings are scared of her and lie. I was pregnant in December 2014 my mom started a big scene and started beating me. She also kicked me in my stomach , i have never called the cops but that was un called for. Police took her to jail, but she bailed out. Then on her court date she asked me to dropp the charges and i told her NO. she got mad and kicked me out from the house. As i told her she had to evict me because i was paying rent. On her court date somehow the charges were dopped. I investigate and found out that she typed a letter as behalf me saying it wasnt true and that i wanted the charges dropped. With my signaturE. As i said she named me after her, so have the same name. in january 26th I found out the babies were gone. It broke my heart and my boyfriends because we been trying so hard and they were twins. My boyfriend called her a murderer. And my mom got offended that she started beating on him. She called the cops and he got taken to jail because my mother lied and told authorities that he was the one who hit me and made me loose the babies. Now he is sitting in jail fighting this case because of my mother that wont admit to the incident of her going to jail in December for kicking me. They are trying to charge him 3-9 Years because he is a parole also.  I dont know what to do she lies to much and hurts people. Can't get a job or transportation because she beats me and calls cops. Also destroys all my personal papers even if i hide them good. I need help finding a home, transportation for school so i can finish my ASSOCIATES DEGREE. But my mother wont let live even if i hide from her. She tried stabbing me twoce already just for calking her out on her bad doings. It shocked me that she would do that. My dad is missing and my mom said she is glad that her sending someone worked. Im loosing it i dont wanna leave my siblings with her. But that's my life story and still living trying to reach out for help and to someone for once listen to my voice.







User Comments

I can't even imagine facing something like this. Thank you for sharing your story with us; know that it's been read, and that you are in peoples' thoughts. You have my deepest sympathies for your loss. I hope that somebody finally puts your mother in her place.