Need to share

Don't know why I've come here really but I need to write down somewhere the weird feelings I am having. Thought this might be a good place to share so I am giving it a go!

All of a sudden it seems that I don't care about anything. My job, my husband. Or even worse my kid. Just had easter break and spend two weeks doing fun things with my family around the town. I felt absolutely nothing. Just went through the motions and tried hard to make sure that everyone else was enjoying themselves. All I could do was wonder why I wans't having a good time. I didn't care that my son was experiencing new things and having a great time. I just didn't care about any of it.

I feel like I am just going through the motions, my husband gets home and I ask him how his day was. Internally I couldn't care less. I just don't care. Speakng seems like such an effort most of the time, I don't want to do anything other than sit on the couch and watch netflix. The thought of going to work next week is exhausting, I don't know that I can muster the enthusiasm to care or even pretend to smile and indulge in the bullshit conversations they have all day.

I hope that tomorrow I wake up and just a suddenly as I stopped caring I would start to care again. My son deserves more than I am giving him currently so hopefully I can get myself out of it.

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