Can i stop it?

I am just so worried that I will never escape a cycle of abuse. Self-abuse, abuse in family, abuse in relationships, you name it. I am incredibly scared for the future because being treated poorly is my normal. I haven't lived at home for 4 years, but I worry that I am deluding myself in my relationships now and am truly accustomed to abuse. I love my boyfriend so much, but I feel as though he might be abusive and I don't realize it. I have told him over and over and over again about the signs of abuse, and I truly feel like he is trying his best to be a great partner. I feel really safe and secure with him. But, nothing lasts forever! I wouldn't be surprised if he did something awful and I had to end it tomorrow. Because that's just what happens to me. I am terrified of trust, but what else can I really do? If he is not 100% NOT abusive or controlling, I cannot be with him. I really hope he continues to stay that way. 

User Comments
Anon-1

Hey :) Have you spoken to a therapist or someone about the abuse you have suffered in the past? Sometimes until you address and accept the past, the fear of the situation will prevent you from moving on and make you scared to ever do anything for fear of it happening again. I found I got stuck in fear and became too scared to ever move on or accept someone's motives as genuine. But you can change and you can get past the fear but sometimes you need a bit of help x

Anon-2

Thank you! I am seeing a therapist and it's helping. It's making my outlook on life a little more positive, little by little. Thanks so much for commenting. Therapy has brought up some negative feelings for me when I talk about the past, but I'm learning that it's making way for more positive ones to happenin the future! :)