Hi. I'm a 24 year old boy, studying to become a teacher. I got diagnosed a VERY heavy depression back in jan-feb, and been struckling ever since. I had a gf, she left me now though, couldn't cope with me being negative, which definitely doesn't help on my situation. I can't find any more reason to live, I just celebrated christmas with my parents, older sister and brother and their children/partner. My family doesn't even feel like a reason to live anymore, and now that my girlfriend left me, back in late november, everything is feeling even worse. I lay awake at night, can't sleep, wont sleep, wont even live. I don't really know what's holding me from killing myself, other than the feeling off letting people down, but then again, i feel more like being selfish and just do it, no one will miss me that much anyway. Earlier today, I discovered my ex friending up with a new dude on Facebook, and I'm panicking. I know, it's just friends on Facebook, doesn't have to mean anything, but that plus everything else, plus the lack of willingness to live... It's just slowly but steady, killing me from the inside. I know I'm going to kill myself in the new year, even though I've been recieving professionel help + antidepressant medication since february , if something amazing doesn't happen (which I honestly don't know what would be). I really don't want to live anymore, seriously, I don't.

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