Living in total panic

It all began about a year ago, where i started having panic attacks, living in total anxiety and depression. I started fearing of going places incase I was sick, fainted or had a panic attack. I now am trying to learn how to love my body and myself. I am alcholic, and have relied on alchol to make me feel better on too many occasions. I relaise it hurts the people around me but I love the "high" of having a few glasses of wine.

Living with anxiety is something i have not completly grasped the idea of. It is a total physical sensation. As if someone is sitting on my chest, and my arms get tense and my mind belives im having a heart attack. I know i have put myself in hospital before because of it but I have taken control of the idea that its just panic. Im just not sure what triggers it.


I need to find things that make me happy again, and im just not sure what that is yet 

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