A frustrating journey

I suffer from anxiety which has plagued myself since my teens, i am awkward in social situations, begin talking to myself in public and not realising the only time i feel safe is in my own room, cant stand being looked freaks me out, when i was 16 i tried getting help from my doctor he was useless told him how i had to build myself up to go out even to put a bin out, and more of what i still feel now in my mid 30's...... he said i had food poisning!!! After a few more visits i lost confidence in them so the next time i went back to a gp was in 2007 nealy 11 years by then i was a  drinker not because i wanted it but as it made feel relaxed in public i began to get help but lost my job in late 2008( laying off work force after new owners came in) 2009 in the space of 4 months had 4 close relatives pass ... and having the same troubles i started drinking and avoided people this carried on till 2014 i stopped drinking and went to a new surgery finally i was offered councilling meds and hope, in late 2014 my mom began to get ill this went on for months on 23 may 2015 we found out she had cancer a day before my birthday, on the 1st of july 2015 my mom passed away.... im still on the meds but am drinking again there is no point in trying to get better to help others as those who are trained to help failed my mom, 

User Comments
Anon-1

I'm really sorry about your mom. That must have been so tough for you. Are you still seeing a therapist? Are you able to discuss how you feel with them?