sucking some serious dick now, my man

I feel gypped. Looking at my life I wonder what my life could have been like if I had had a better start. My parents are/were drug addicts. The enviroment I grew up in wasn't as terrible as some, but I think I lost a better future to the emotional effects of being raised in an unstable enviroment. It hurts to be denied hope due to things outside of your control: I was nearly considered gifted, but passed over due to my emotional issues, despite being tested and found to have a high IQ at a young age. Things could have been so much better. I'm a dropout now. My best hope for the future starts with a fucking GED, and part of that is my fault. But it sucks to think that things could have started so much better. That I could have been pushed into academic success, could have been spared the emotional issues leading me to be truant through middle school, and isolate myself completely through high school. I am a stunted fuckhead. I've been ruined and ruined myself. I haven't had a friend in years.

I'm an artist now, but a part of me wonders if I would feel the need to draw pretty pictures were I to have had a better life. As an artist, a part of me thinks the best option would be to express the only thing my stunted social development hasn't dulled and stripped from me by killing myself, profound regret and despair. Goodnight.

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