When I was 16, I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I knew that inwanted to get into a good university, I knew what I wanted to study and why. I had a 5 year plan. I was thin and active. 

When I was 18 I met a guy that I fell in love with. We fell in love and spent 5 years together. We moved cities, lived in a little apartment, had pets. We were so cute. And I don't doubt that we loved each other. 

And then, this nagging voice in my head kept telling me to  end it. I kept thinking that I deserved better. Sometimes he'd ignore me or was completely disinterested in me. Sometimes he told me I was gross. Once he cheated on me with a girl online. I wasn't innocent though, I was a complete bitch. I liked to argue, even about the silliest things. I don't have my license, so I'd rely on him for rides. I was pretty needy, even though I consciously tried to be a 'cool girlfriend'. 

Last year we decided to end it. We moved out and started leading our seperate lives. Except we kept seeing each other.. We talked on and off about getting back together. And we kept having sex. 

In the meantime, I was studying at university. I'd been there for 4 years and not completed my degree. When we broke up, I just stopped going to classes. I dropped out. 

Then, a couple of weeks ago, he updated his relationship status on Facebook to 'in a relationship'. The girl he is with is 10 years younger than him, she's thin, really pretty and just generally cool looking. She's fashionable and has cute friends. And she has a car and her license. I'm literally the opposite of that. I've gained 20-30kgs over the course of 5 years. I mostly just wear gym clothes everywhere, out of comfort. And my face is fucked. 

I was shattered when I saw he was in a new relationship. I decided the best thing to do would be to 'un-friend' him from my life so I could move on. 

So now I'm at this painful place in my life where I'm 24 years old. I'm living in a city where I have no friends or family. I'm a university drop out. I can't drive a car. I'm single and not ready to mingle. And I'm disgusted with my body and appearance. The man I love has found someone better than me, and I'm still pathetically pining over him. 

What am I doing with my life??

How can I get motivated again, the way I was when I was 16? 

User Comments

I've always found the best way to get motivated is to decide to change, make a plan and stick to it. Write down how you want to change, ways to make the changes and achievable goals you can meet. That way you can see you are making progress and not dwelling in the past.

Its worked for me when I was at my lowest so I hope that it might help you. Its being able to see progress that is important, no matter how small. Best of Luck :)