I'm going to end my relationship.

He's a good guy. He really is. He's super sweet and caring and has been supportive. But lately, well, since the beginning of summer (June), he's been busy. Too busy it feels for me. And it isn't entirely his fault. During the summer, he had a job, family issues, and vacations that kept him away. I still felt pretty lonely without him, and I tried to be understanding but when he would go a week without texting me, I felt rather hurt. I did bring it up but he brushed it off with the excuse of not wanting to be on his phone while with family as well as just the fact he can't help the vacations. School rolled around and vacations turned into school work. 

Although, honestly, he doesn't really do his school work. He'll do what's interesting to him but completely blow off everything else. He has poor grades not because he isn't smart, he's just lazy. And it's one part why I don't want to be with him right now. He just shows me he's irresponsible and lazy when he doesn't like to do things. Chores, school work, and I feel like it'd only be a matter of time before he started getting bored and slacking with me. And honestly it already felt like I was pushed to the back burner more often than not. Still, I tried to be understanding and I knew I couldn't be a priority. I still wanted to be though. It hurt not getting the attention. Needy and clingy and selfish as that is. I just felt empty. And he wasn't proving to be a good partner in the long run if he continued to slack on the important things.

I know I'm being selfish but it's not like I'm asking for everything. Just being consistent with texting and being more available would be nice. Whenever I start to expect something of him, I just feel like I end up disappointed and hurt. Whenever I have hope that things are better, that a dinner goes exceptionally well. The next one just flops. 

I still love him. I know I do. It's just he hasn't really shown it the way I need to feel it. I need the quality time, whether over text or dinner. I don'tare. And I know he loves me, he just has other things on his mind and other priorities. 

My last straw was basically pulled when I invited him over to help decorate when his boss calls, not And for him to go to work, but to go help him decorate. I was wanting to spend the day with him. I was wanting to spend time watching Christmas movies with him. But not an hour later, he was gone. Here for barely two hours, not really helping decorate. I was hurt. I was disappointed. I was done. I made up my mind. 

For him and for me, I know it was best we break up. He's stressed over other things and doesn't need a girlfriend hounding him and demanding her selfish desire for attention from him. He doesn't need that. Nor do I need to be so unhappy. I have some reevaluating to do about my selfishness, I recognize that. While he also needs to figure out his life, sort things out. We're both young. It's not the end of the world. And I have a strong feeling we'll end up back together. As for now, however, I know it needs to end. As much as it hurts. As much as I hate to lose him. My heart and I have decided and made peace with the fact that a relationship isn't what he nor I need right now. 

I just hate giving up and leaving. I still love him, just not who he is, not where he's at, not right now anyway. And I know I have some growing to do. I actually said multiple times during our relationship I could see us breaking up then getting back together years down the road. Maybe I was unknowingly foreshadowing our relationship. I really hope so. I really truly do. 

User Comments
Anon-1

I hope that you find peace in the decision that you come to.  I know how difficult it can be to make a change.  Stay strong and do what is the right thing for you.