My Step Daughter needs HELP!

Our family dynamic, recently has been changing. My husband and I are getting a long really great with my oldest SD, who is 13, but not my youngest. We have had ongoing problems with her for a very long time now. She is very sensitive to the point I think it's not normal. She hates coming to our house and cries about it all the time to her Mom. When she's here she frenquently throws tantrums on the floor always crying. She said she thinks her Dad loves me more than he loves her. I could go on all day. There is is ALWAYS an issue every single day! I have got to the point that when she's here I try and retreat away from her. She is like a dark cloud hanging over all of us. Her sister is having problems with her as well. We also learned she is displaying this behavior with her friends as well. Tantrums, won't play with people because she's off crying, etc..

My husband has been pushing for therapy but the Mother won't allow it because there was one bad experience. That bad experience was the therapist was on our side. So, she took her out.

He has been pleading with her to find out what is wrong and to try and get her help. Her response was, she is just a sensitive 10 year old and all that is normal. She feels that it's her sister who needs help because she lacks empathy towards her younger sister. She also compared her end of marriage to the way he treats his younger daughter. The Mom has depression issues and cheated on him. He left her because she cheated on him. He is the most LOVING father I have ever seen. It's shocking to me all of her accusations. She does not live in this house and is only listening to her daughter. Who frequently lies, BTW. Just yesterday she made herself a bagel in the morning and when she saw her sister was going to have a waffle she changed her mind. My husband told her she was not to waste food and to please just eat her bagel she could have a waffle tomorrow. She said "well, I didn't toast it yet." Her sister said "I just watched you toast it" My husband looked at it and touched it and it was still warm. He said "you did toast it" She started to cry and ran offscreaming "this is why I don't want to live with you."

His last ditch effort is to ask if she will agree to at least have her go to a psychiatrist to see what could be wrong with her.

We feel helpless because without the Mom's support we could be living this way for a very long time with her so unhappy. I feel there is more going on and I am in awe as to why her Mom doesn't want to know if there is something wrong with her. I have a theory, since her Mom suffers from depression, maybe she is afraid she passed it on. Which could entirely be true.

I hope she will agree so we can get to the bottom of all these problems.

PS: My husband recently started taking her out on a father daughter date with only her to try and help her feel more loved. Does she? Nope!

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