What is a "Friend?"

I guess I ought to open my story with my first group of friends, and then just tell the story chronologically. I'll be changing everyone's names for privacy, and giving each group of friends a designation for ease of storytelling. Here goes:

Group A was my first group of friends. My friend Shawn is my best friend that goes to my school. Sometimes we'll argue about something dumb, and sometimes it'll get heated, but generally, we don't stay angry long. He's in Group A. Also in A are Josh and Mark, both of whom joined later.

Everyone in Group A with the exception of me is pretty tight with all the people in Group B, Andy, Lucas, Aaron, and a few others. Most of these guys only say what's polite, and when Shawn or Josh or Mark are all having a converstaion with someone fron Group B, they tend to stand in a circle. Anytime I try to join, I have to shove my way into the circle and if they happen to be talking about League of Legends, but I showed up late, I'll ask, "What are you talking about?" They will almost always ignore me, and I'll just keep repeating the question until they become angry and answer just to hear me stop. Also of note; people in Group B tend to throw a lot of parties, and everyone Group A is always invited, except, you guessed it, me.

Sometime last year, I happened to be in class and began to notice a girl with the name Brandy, and over time it developed into a crush. I injected myself into her "Group C" and stayed there for almost a year. Brandy was always nice, and so were the other girls in Group C, Melissa and Katy, but never more than was polite. I didn't know a lot about how to talk to people I wasn't comfortable with, and even though they always told me that they'd say something if I was bothering them; I never felt welcome. I bought a few of them birthday gifts, even, but just the way that they never included me in their conversations and only talked to me if I talked first made me feel quite unwelcome. After a lot of strife with Groups B and C, I broke away from Group C, and only one of the girls since has even made conversation with me.

The crush I had on Brandy was bad, it lasted about 9 months before I became tired of the way that she would ignore me, or agree to do something and then have to bail, and always have an excuse to not talk with me. Now we're at about present day. I'm just getting over her, but I've realized there is another girl, Lindsay, who I'm beginning to feel pull at my heart.

I've seen and said hello to her prior, but I really met her and her friend Dianne in Yearbook. I've been really careful, and while it seems like Dianne is pretty open to me, I see Lindsay doing a lot of the same things Brandy did, and I've been taking things pretty slow with her so as not to "scare her away," even though I doubt she'd say "yes," anyway.

We'll call Lindsay, Maddeline (One of her friends) and Brooke Group B-2. I've talked with Maddeline and Brooke before and they are also very nice, but not a lot more than is always polite. A lot of the problem is that Group B-2 tends to associate with Group B, and while most people in Group B are my friends, they all still seem to like to make me feel really dumb when something goes wrong.

Despite all this, I'm pretty scared to graduate and go to college. I know I'll meet new and maybe better friends, and I'll keep my really good friends from high school, but these people, whether we're friends or enemies, really, are my people. They are who I was paired up with by life, and I'm a bit frightened of mever getting to hear from them again for life.

One thing did go right, though. Right before I broke from Group C I met one of it's members, Hunter, and we've become really great friends, and just the two of us, with no one else really getting in our way, much, with the exception of his girlfriend (who acts much the same and Brandy and Melissa), but I understand.

My friends from Xbox Live are still my friends, and even though they can be assholes, we've had some great times, and I think we'll be friends for a long time, but that's a different story, isn't it.

Thanks for listening to my own personal problems, and I hope you guys have better fortune. 

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