It just hurts

it is possible. They say it isn't but it is. I know it is. It's happening to me right now. I hear a song on the radio, and it is our song and somewhere from the depths of my soul the crushing of my heart starts all over again. It hurts to breathe. The tears streaming down my face burn my cheeks like acid and the churning of my gut is excruciating. I almost pass out and then the song ends. It's like the fates are laughing at me - they let me live just long enough for the next reminder of you, of us hits me and I start to die all over again. I miss you. I miss you beyond measure. I ruined us. I know that. I ruined what we had and just knowing that kills me even more - if that's even possible to die after you're dead. You were my brightest light and my warmest laughter, I never had a friend until I met you. My best friend. How we laughed. How we frolicked in the sheer joy of togetherness. We were perfect. We were perfect and I ruined it. I fell in love and I thought maybe you did a little too... Oh the first kiss, the first time you held me in your arms and the magic of making love with you was better than fairytale. We were perfect. You were my world. And then, and then I met your wife. I wanted to hate her, I wanted her to not be real. But she was real and she was lovely and we could only ever be friends. I thought I was ok with that but I ruined that too. Another song is playing and again the air is expelled from my lungs in a desperate escape. My heart is dying, I'm dying of a broken heart. It really is possible and it hurts. It just hurts.

User Comments