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Depression was first. Throughout high school I isolated myself from my peers. I told myself it was because I lived in the middle of nowhere and couldn't see them, but finally accepted the truth: I am worthless. I am literally not worth anyone's time. I developed Binge Eating Disorder. Food was my friend.
2012. My parents were fighting, my grandpa committed suicide, and I was being my usual doormat self, trying to ease everyone else's stress, while letting mine rot away the integrity of my being. 2012. I worked at a summer camp in 2011, and went back in 2012. That was a year that I was starting to find myself again, starting to open up into a person who could make friends.
A friend asked me to watch House with him in his cabin, so I did. I fell asleep, and woke up to him on top of me. Upon trying to leave, I was physically restrained, laid on top of, ground into, all while hyperventilating and not being able to catch my breath. I tried screaming but couldn't. He took off my shorts. He pulled my ankles towards him. I blacked out.
He put a large sweater on me when he was finished, got me water, and sent me back to my cabin.
The next day, I was wooden. I did not eat, I did not smile or laugh, I did not speak. When I was not working, I slept. I did not tell anyone what happened.
2013. My parents forced me to move out of country for school. Depression hit hard. I knew that when I found myself sobbing in a cold bath, 3 hours after drawing it. 2015, my parents realized the country they sent me to was NOT cheaper, and forced me to move back. I developed an alcohol depedency. Then I started to self harm.
2015, I met my current boyfriend at the same summer camp. Odd, isn't it? He helped me in ways I cannot describe. He extended the longest ladder he could find into the deep, dark hole I had dug myself. He helped me to help myself.
My parents do not know about any of this, save for the depression. They chose to ignore it, thinking my 2 years of hell was a phase that I would snap out of.
Hi everyone. It's a story about a tough breakup... We're both in our early thirties if that matters... Basically we were each other's first real relationship, in the beginning it was chocolates and roses but with time shit started to go down.
Nothing new here, we had a great journey but in the end I decided to break up with him because I don't know, I was feeling that he is ch...
There is so much I want to say, and I can't include it all without boring the heck out of everyone. This is a long read, but I want to provide enough of a background so that you guys can understand what I have been through! I apologize in advance and truly appreciate your time and advice!
When I was 18 years old, a senior in highschool, I noticed a very beautiful girl in the hallway and duri...