Want to get better

I've been depressed for years. When I was 10, I got hooked on WoW. It absorbed my life for until a few months ago, when I quit. Video games were all I had for the majority of my life. I feel like because of this I am socially inept. I spent 10-12 hours a day on the computer for the past 8-9 years. I have a few friends, but none of them were recently made. I've smoked weed for 4 years now, almost everyday because it turns off reality for a while. I've dealt with weight issues for my entire life, peaking at 250lbs in junior year of high school. I'm 170 now, but its mostly flab. For the past month I've been exercising and it's helped boost my confidence to see myself getting into better shape, but I'm still not satisfied by my appearance. Work is the only consistent social situation that I find myself in, and I enjoy it. It makes me feel real. I've taken a girl out from work twice but I feel like she's growing distant to me. I text her every couple days and she's been busy the past 2 times I've invited her to do something. She never has texted me first. Maybe that's just my insecurities talking, I don't have know what she really thinks. My lack of experience with flirting and dating makes me question myself. I just want to feel affection and a connection to another person. I've gone through 3 years of college messing around and wasting time, but now I've found something that I want to do. I figured it's time I get my act together in school, I know I could be great at something if I put in the effort. But my problem is finding the motivation. I feel better than I did a few years ago, my body is better off, but I still have a long way to go. I just wish I could get to the finish line and have a life filled with real happiness and activities.

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