Losing direction and hope

I feel like no part of my life is on track. I have been single for 6 months and am unable to find any kind of fulfilling relationship while it feels like other people around me are settling down into long term relationships. I feel so lonely. I was recently taken out of a student teaching placement because the teacher decided that I wasn't up to her standards: issues for me that are largely related to disorganization as well as depression and anxiety. This was a huge shock for me and I feel directionless and don't know what to do. 

 

I have have been looking for work. A guy that I was casually seeing recommended me for an open position where he works and just as I ended things with him because he's looking for a casual hookup while I am looking for a relationship. I really like him but the disparity between our needs was becoming too painful.

I've had two recent occasions where I have been rejected by men I was interested in and started to cry... Alcohol was involved in both of these situations. In the more recent one, a guy I thought was sending me signals (because the supposed signals were pointed out by a friend of mine) ended up flirting with a girl who's also my friend. She asked if it was okay with me if she pursued that. I told her it was and then left and began to cry elsewhere in the bar. I couldn't find my purse and therefore could not leave. She found it for me and walked me home since the guy she flirted with was unavailable that night. 

 

I am am feeling very worthless, useless, and unlikable. I struggle with my weight and wonder if it will keep me from ever finding a relationship even though I want to believe I can find a man who likes me for who I am. I'm starting to believe he's not out there. 

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