I've ruined mine and 'fiancés' lives.

i'm not expecting forgiveness, or sympathy, or anything of the sort. I've ruined what's been the most important 7 years of my life in one stupid moment with a colleague, and it's all crumbling down before my eyes. we're suppose dot be married in 16 weeks. i've got to finish work and go home, or what is a shell of our home, it's all tainted with lies. i've never had such horrible thoughts in my mind, i feel like im losing my mind, she said at one point are you seriously depressed. i dont know what depression is, i feel it would just be an excuse for what i've done. i do love her i genuinely do we've been through everything together, everything, college, university, she's a 1st degree honour nurse now, we worked so hard and got this far. I left a well paid job to move cities to where she got a job at a hospital, to now a sh** 9-5 customer service desk for a sh** company. How do i begin to rebuild? if this is the end, i don't have any social circles anymore sure i have close friends that are there for me, but we don't go out anymore we've all grown up got partners, best mates got a child, what role model am i to a child i'm the godfather of. i'll do anything in the world to fix this.

 

There's nothing else left

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