this is my story

i was born in a western country to a lower middle class family.out of luck i happened to live ina beautiful part of our city next to all the snobby and rich folk. i went to primary school with rich people, being a child i didnt understand why i didnt fit in , i just knew i didn't. my friend alicia lived in a nice place and her mum was very kind to me, her dad was kind of strange and mean but he was respectful to my mum and even gave her a juicer.My first bestfriends, was in kindergarden but i can not remember her very well, i know we would hang out at ballet after kinder and i remember she dropped out when we 2 years into it. I dropped out of ballet when i was in year 3, i think i remember it was because i was peer pressured by my dad, he wanted me to play basketball so i strongly wanted to play basketball. at the age of 16 i regret dropping out of ballet, it was the last elegant thing in my life and i do enjoy dancing. when i went into primary school i didnt fit iin at first , people didnt like me adn i didnt get a friend till year 1. alot was going on at home , mostly due to my dads violent tendencies, he never hit anyone but he wasnt careful enough to not smash glass doors scream in public and let out self built up steam. I remember singing to fergie and dancing on mums bed when all of teh sudden dad walks in unanounced , this would be a cute story fo a 6 year old getting caught messing around had it not been that mum came in right after and told him to leave which led to an argument of him chucking a lamp.That was when my anger started, that was when i decided that i was fucked up. i remember in year 2 my best friend had a fight with her best friend (i wasnt alicias best friend) and she was mad that she had to play with me rather than jaden. That was when i realised im not ontop of the ladder, that there is something inately wrong wiht me , that naturally i was a lousy second. my first crush was on a boy named harry, i am still inlove with him which is pathetic because i have not seen him 4 years. the last nice thing he ever said to me was in year 2 , he laughed at something funny i said and told me i was funny, i thinkk that was the only nice thing a boy apart from family has said to me. iwwait no nick in year 3 told me my hair look liked fire whilst i was hanging upside down the monkey bars,that was special because he was super cute and was a year older than me. but those two times, no wait in year 6 charilie my seocnd crush told me i was good at basketball, but at the end of the year he called mee extremly stupid so i dont know. i have never gotten on with the opposit sex , they all seem to hate me, well lets be real they dont seem to hate me they really hate me.i understand i wam ugly and i am mentally narcisitic materialistic air headed stupid and shallow. I dont want to be that way. what i mostly want more than anything in the world is to be inlove with someone and have them love me back. or i want lust. but ugly people will never get that we will never experience that,iwant to be beautiful

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