Fuck you.

I was happy just being friends. You were one of my best friends who I felt I could talk to about anything, tell you things I couldn't tell anyone else, talk about my anxiety and depression with and feel like you could understand me and not judge me. You knew I had always had a major crush on you and turned me down so many times before because of stuff that you had going on, and I was fine with that and just being friends. 

But you decided that you wanted more. Made the move and I told you my hesitations and concerns based on my relationship issues and anxieties. But we went for it. And it was the best 10 months of my life. I thought 'yes, we timed this right and have the best base of a relationship and this is going to be it. You're my forever.'

But no. You broke my heart. Ended things out of the blue and hit me with it like a fucking bus. You broke me. You ruined my holiday. Our holiday. You're bowling along absolutely fine and left me a complete mess and unable to function any more. I don't know what to do with myself. I want to run away and start again. That or just end it all. I don't want to live my life anymore. I can't keep doing this. You've taken all the best parts of me, and my best friend. 

I hate how you've made me feel. I wish I hated you. I wish my brain would forget you. I wish I could erase it all. Fuck you. 

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