How I Fall In Love

I fall in love far too easily. If I saw you on the bus, or in a coffee shop, I might not think of anything else the rest of the day. The smallest little moments sweep me away. In a way, Tinder is perfect for me: I only need a couple images for my heart to open wide. Inevitably, though, I swipe you to the right and that's the last I see of you, like the girl in the coffee shop or on the bus.

I knew after I added you on Facebook that I would fall for you, I knew because that's what I do. When I knew you a decade ago, you were nice, cute, small; all boxes checked. By the time I had walked into your store I was determined not to fall for you, I wanted a real experience, not one driven by lust or dreams of who I would want you to be, I wanted to connect with you. I was able to stay aloof for a little while, but I haven't been determined enough. You've grown so much, so beautifully, since I knew you. You've added a mischievous smile to your open, happy face. You still walk the same way though, that little upward lilt with each step. Most important were your eyes, they were smiling at me all night. I got nervous, and I got shy, and you seemed to like me.

I've never been able to resist a woman who wanted me, I didn't have enough self-confidence as a kid. I'm a romantic, but something in me is practical: if I sense your interest, I grab at it with both hands, everything else dims to a hum.

Now I have a dilemma: I'm in love with you but I don't know why. You're a wonderful person , but is that why I love you? How can I trust myself if what I think is love is just a shallow reflection of your affection?

I wish I was strong and honest enough to analytically dissect my emotions to extract a genuine understanding of that part of my mind I call my heart. But I won't do that. I'll sink deeper, and I'll try to pull you in.

That's how I fall in love, that's how I fell in love with you.

User Comments
Anon-1

Don't analyze it! Don't dissect your feelings. If it's real, run with it. Trust your instincts; trust the feelings that bind you to this person, and go with it. 

Anon-2

Maybe love is chemicals. Maybe it's something deeper. We don't know. All we can do is embrace it, draw strength from it, and let it fill our lives with added joy and depth and sense of purpose. Maybe, like faith, that's all it was meant to do, and some things that seem too good to be true... are true in any case?

Anon-3

If you care about her, and she cares about you, that's all that matters. Really, that's all that matters! Go with it. If it stops working, stop going with it, but in the meantime enjoy each other's company and don't plan for things to "end" someday. Live in the moment! You deserve someone who feels so strongly about you.

Anon-4

Better to fall in love easily than never fall in love at all. Too many people are stuck in the idea that having a lot of love to give readily is a bad thing. Eventually you'll find someone who accepts this about you and appreciates how strong your feelings are. Hold the line, and don't let yourself be dismayed by other peoples' lack of love.

Anon-5 Wow, I feel like you're talking about me. There's a Herbie Hancock song called "I fell in Love too easily" - I always think of me when this is on. Any attention of someone I kinda like and I'm immediately in love. I'm having the same problem with my current boyfriend. He's beautiful, inside and out, but I have this nagging feeling that 'i'm doing it again' and is he really right for me. I have no idea and it's stressing me out. I feel for you. Good luck x